


Iridescent

by Oedaziel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bathtub, M/M, cheesy stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oedaziel/pseuds/Oedaziel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester doesn’t know where or when his life became a cheesy soap opera. He had his embarrassing moments - he still had a vivid memory of Rhonda Hurley and her pink panties, and the disturbing feeling of actually enjoying wearing them - but this was a whole new level.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iridescent

Dean Winchester doesn’t know where or when his life became a cheesy soap opera. He had his embarrassing moments - he still had a vivid memory of Rhonda Hurley and her pink panties, and the disturbing feeling of actually enjoying wearing them - but this was a whole new level. 

Surely, he must be dreaming.

Since Cas fell, along with thousands of graceless angels, things had gotten pretty weird. Cas can’t fly away anytime he felt like it anymore and was stuck with the Winchesters all the time. Dean knew it was selfish of him but he couldn’t help but be relieved that Cas couldn’t leave as he pleased anymore. 

Spending so much time with one another led their relationship to a stage where they finally confessed their feelings, in a cryptic way sure, but it still counts.

It’s not like they don’t already know or have a guess. 

Ever since, the most incredible events happen. Cas starts smiling more often and sometimes even without a specific reason - which is great, really, but weird nonetheless. Dean teaches Cas how to cook and how to hunt without his angel mojo, how to get past boredom and find ways to entertain himself during lonely hours; Dean had gotten angry after Cas woke him up for the third time because there was nothing interesting on the tv.

Instead, Cas learns how to play Angry Birds on his brand new cell phone - the guy still had a hard time figuring out how to make a call or send a text, but whatever - starts to get into pop culture and takes a new interest in origamis. He also buys a shitload of crappy magazines in an attempt on learning how to be human. More often than not, he comes up with pet names like ‘sugar’ or ‘honey’ when he’s talking to Dean because it is common to give sweet names to your partner in order to establish a deeper relationship and show you affection. Whatever. Dean’s sure it was a conspiracy of Sam to get some blackmail material.

None of these things explained how Dean Frigging Winchester finds himself in a bathtub full of bubbles, rubber ducks in a candlelight with- wait, is that Céline Dion playing in the background?

“You look tense.” Castiel frowns, hands busy under the water searching for another duck. One of the things that don’t and probably would never change about the former angel is his need to state the obvious. In his defense, the guy doesn’t have any experience or whatsoever of a relationship. He’d just finished reading song titles at the back of an album named “Top 100 Love Songs”. Dean wasn’t even there when he bought that. He guesses that it was Sam who gave him the idea and made a mental note to get back at him for that later. 

“Cas, dude, where did you even find this stuff?” Dean’s baffled by the fact that Cas seemed so happy playing with the ducks. Don’t they have toys upstairs? Castiel stares at him with his bright blue eyes full of hope and bewilderment. No grown man should look this adorable while looking confused.

Cas blinks a few times before answering. “The magazine said a bubble bath with some music would be comforting and pleasant to share with a beloved.” He hesitates before adding, “The ducks were for more intimate activities.”

Suddenly, the room doesn’t have enough air and Dean struggles to keep his expression clear.

“I don’t think they were referring to rubber ducks, Cas.” He coughs loudly to muffle the high pitch in his voice. They haven’t engaged in any actions under the belt so far and while the former angel was cute, he was far from innocent and shy when it came to it. But sometimes, like this one, Dean’s reminded that Cas had no actual experience in the field. Fortunately, he probably doesn’t even get the concept of a vibrating duck. Or the fact that it was for women.

Cas scrunches his face as he always does when he doesn’t understand something. Suddenly, he moves himself behind Dean and before Dean gets the chance to question his intent, Castiel places his hand on Dean’s shoulders and starts rubbing them with little pressure. Dean’s eyes close and he revels in the feeling, letting his muscles relax. Pleased with his reaction, Castiel continues massaging them, slightly increasing the pressure.

“Feels great, Cas,” he sighs as Castiel’s hands wander down his back, kneading at the right parts and releasing the knots. A small moan escapes him but he was too comfortable to care. Cas is good at this, despite the fact that Dean knows he had never given anyone a massage before. He isn’t going to admit it out loud, but there’s some satisfaction to the idea that Cas was only going to do these things with him. Hopefully.

When they found Castiel on the side of the road, him and Dean talked a lot. For once, they’d actually communicated. Castiel had told him what happened with Metatron, what he made him do. Dean finally realised how much Cas had gone through on his own and maybe understood why he was so reluctant to talk afterwards. The thing is, he would always come back to Dean eventually. Dean was his safe house, even if Dean himself didn’t know it. Since they’d acknowledged their feelings for each other, they’d started demonstrating their affection.

It was nice to be able to share this kind of connection with someone else. Not the carnal part - Dean has had his fair share of one night stands, or short love stories, as he likes to call it in his head. But this, this was great. This was them touching, caressing without having expectations. That was exactly what Dean needed. All his life he had to be a better man for other people - take care of Sammy, take care of Dad, save other people. And it was okay, it really was. But what he had with Cas was so liberating; it was like a fresh breeze in the evening. In that moment, he knew he could go further with Cas because he felt safe with him. He knows he could be himself. Cas wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t excel; it’s silly, but the fact that he isn’t under pressure anymore was making him want to reach for Cas in ways he had never dreamed of.

And that scares him. He cares about Cas as much as he cares about Sam and that has never happened in his life before. He never let himself care too much because it always ended bloody. 

And on more than one occasion, it had ended badly with Cas. Every single time he promised himself that he wouldn’t get too attached because it was easier that way. Staying detached caused less pain and less stress on his part. 

Keeping Castiel out had always been harder than keeping everyone else out and he was never really fully able to. Cas could read him so easily, like an open book. No one had been able to do that in the past, not even Sam. Eventually, Dean got tired of trying to block Cas and just let things take their own path.

Sometimes Dean thinks about what would happen if Cas decided he’d had enough and got up and left. Obviously it would devastate Dean and he doubted he would trust much after that. But he also understood that he couldn’t keep himself - and his heart - locked up forever. And opening up to Cas was better than opening up to anyone else.

“Is this okay?” Cas’ voice pulls Dean out of his thoughts. His hands pause in the middle of his back and Dean clears his throat before speaking. It’s not like they’re naked in a bathtub and Dean’s back is a few inches away from Cas’ crotch, but it kind of is. 

In an effort of acting normal, Dean turns his back to face a concerned Cas. “It’s great,” Dean says honestly. Cas smiles softly and his hands resume working. “Where’d you learn all this?” Dean asks after repositioning himself to give more room for the massage. It felt sincerely awesome -for lack of a better word- to be the end of tender gestures and the former angel surely knew where to handle him.

“I’ve been around for longer than you can imagine, Dean.” Castiel’s tone is teasing. “Giving someone a massage is not difficult.”

“Well okay, Mr. Know-it-all,” Dean jokes and is rewarded with a poke in the side. He yelps in surprise, swatting Cas’ hand away and splashing some water at the same time. They’re quiet and Dean sinks into his thoughts again.

At some point, Cas presses a butterfly kiss against Dean’s shoulder. His right hand caresses Dean’s ribs while he places his head in the crook of Dean’s neck. There is bubbles all over his jaw, making him look younger than ever. The water was still running, so the bath was still hot. Dean lost track of the time. It rarely happens; usually, he is on a rush or vigilant. It’s not like the Winchesters often got the chance to take some vacation. There’s always monster to chase and to run from - never the time for a break. It was the hunter’s burden; Dean never actually realised how much he missed out on since he never had it from the start. Being with Cas would open doors he hadn’t dared to explore before. He starts to think that some of them were worth the shot. So far, it brought him great pleasure - a sense of satisfaction that was entirely new to him. And although it was a little disconcerting, he isn’t going to lie and say he doesn’t like it. 

Dean thinks back to when he was with Lisa, the only other actual relationship he’d been in. He tries to remember if he felt like this at the time and realizes that he didn’t. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her.

Was Dean in love with Cas?

The thought puts Dean on edge; it frightened him more than he likes to confess. He doesn’t think he’s ever been in love. Hell, he doesn’t even know what it feels like so how could he possibly be sure that what he’s feeling for Cas is love?

Except some part of him knows. He probably knew a long time ago, but knowing is different than admitting and admitting takes a hell of a lot longer, especially in Dean’s case. He’s well aware of his bad habit of ignoring things and pushing them aside until they became too much. It wasn’t healthy but he’d rather deal with his own crap than drag everyone else into it, too. He doesn’t necessarily need to need anyone.

However, Dean needs Cas and that much he’s been able to say out loud. He doesn’t like it, doesn’t like needing anyone because that creates a weakness and it will always come back to get you. Sam was always his weakness and everyone knew that. But it was also his only one and he was proud of that, proud of being able to keep everyone out. Until Cas came along and changed everything. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Castiel’s arms slip around Dean’s abdomen with ease, and Dean leans back, closing his eyes.

“You.”

Dean felt Cas smile against his neck and he felt his own face break into a smile as well.

“I hope it’s good, then.” Castiel whispers against his ear before planting a kiss. He pushes Dean against his torso and embraces him carefully, as if Dean is the most valuable object in the world and needed to be treated with gentleness. Unhesitatingly, Dean runs his finger along Cas’ forearm and slips them into Cas’ hands. Caressing Cas’ palm with his thumb, Dean shifts his body to face his companion.

“It always is.” At that, Castiel’s eyes soften in a way they never had before. His lips curly shyly and he hides his nose behind Dean’s shoulder. Dean takes Cas’ chin with his free hand while he squeezes Cas’ fingers with the other one. For a brief moment, none of them move, merely happy to stare at each other. For a few seconds, Dean is worried that his heart might explode because it starts to race. He’s having a hard time breathing normally and his mouth goes dry. He feels helpless. Because what he’s seeing in the depth of Castiel’s gaze, it’s pure and irrevocable love and adoration. Castiel’s looking at him like he’s the only person that matters. No one’s ever looked at Dean the way Castiel does and it’s overwhelming.

Because Dean doesn’t think he deserves it. Why would an angel - former or not - choose him? It doesn’t make sense to Dean and he doesn’t at all see whatever worth that Castiel sees in him. He hopes he’s enough. 

“I love you,” Dean says suddenly, voice small, cheeks burning. Instead of waiting for an answer, Dean cover Cas’ mouth with his own. He’s always been better at expressing himself through actions rather than words, so this - this is what he can do. He kisses Cas with renenewed desperation, almost panicking when Cas doesn’t open his mouth at first. But then Cas does and he’s kissing Dean back. But he isn’t reciprocating with passion, no. It’s tender. It’s slow and gentle, like he’s tasting Dean’s mouth for the first time and doesn’t want to miss a thing. Maybe it is. Maybe this is a turning point in their relationship. Castiel slips his tongue, dancing with Dean’s own. When they split apart, Castiel is breathless. He’s still wearing the same look on his face, a mix of amazement and fear.

“You know I love you too, don’t you?” Castiel is running his finger down Dean’s cheeks before settling on his jaw. He closes his eyes and brushes their noses. “I’ve loved you for so long, Dean. So long.”

Dean doesn’t get a chance to answer - his lips are attacked by Cas’ teeth biting and nipping them like there is no tomorrow. Shifting his body for a more comfortable position, he takes advantage of the moment to pin Cas against the edge of the tub. Castiel takes a handful of his ass and pushes him against his own chest. For the very first time, Dean feels another cock against his own, and a loud groan into Castiel’s mouth.

Dean’s not scared. He knows he can trust Cas. He knows Cas won’t let him down or hurt him; and for once, he trusts himself to be good for someone else. He doesn’t have the strenght to fight this anymore. Not when the result feels so right. Not when he finally got what he has always longed for - love. Loving Cas is worth the risk of having his heart broken and shattered. Even if every second will lead him to his end.


End file.
